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WHAT ARE YOUR FEELINGS SAYING?
by Hugh Durham
Understanding Your Emotions & The Feelings They Create
“Your emotions make you human. Even the unpleasant ones have a purpose. Don’t lock them away. If you ignore them, they just get louder and angrier.”
― Sabaa Tahir
It isn’t always easy to know exactly what we’re feeling or why
We assume we know ourselves better than anyone else. But often it’s difficult for us to identify the specific emotions we’re feeling, or to correctly determine why we’re feeling that way. And sometimes, we find that what we know we need and want to do we don’t feel like doing. This leads to issues like procrastination, over-eating, etc and moves us away from our dreams and ambitions.
Although this emotional confusion is pretty normal, it can lead to misunderstandings, sometimes serious ones, in our selves, and our relationships.
The good news
All feelings are good! Does that surprise you? They are the way our unconscious and subconscious mind attempt to communicate with us. They are our built-in guidance system…an internal voice attempting to move you in the right direction. Toward your goals and feeling more satisfied with your life.
The bad news
What we consider “bad” feelings are those we misunderstand. First, we’ve become so adept at hiding and burying our feelings that we’ve lost touch with what they are telling us. When we ignore our feelings, our basic needs remain unmet. Our lives become filled with frustration, stress, and eventually depression. Second, most of our beliefs about the world and ourselves are formed from the ages of two to seven, when learning is subconscious. Think about the misconceptions that may be programmed into your subconscious… This is why we experience emotional dissonance, self-limiting beliefs, and negative self-talk.
FEAR AND HURT ARE OFTEN THE UNDERLYING EMOTIONS IN SITUATIONS WHERE WE EXPRESS ANGER, ANNOYANCE AND FRUSTRATION
Dare to question your feelings and get to the inner core. Feelings lead to beneficial responses when properly understood. They’re signals indicating that you’re either fulfilling or not fulfilling your needs, wants, and desires.
The more often you can correctly identify what you’re feeling, understand why you’re feeling it — including what “soft” vulnerable emotion might be driving it — and take that big risk of honestly expressing it, the better it is for you.
A Little Background
Feelings are the physical manifestation of our emotions. More precisely, the unconscious mind creates all the physiological phenomena associated with the emotion our subconscious mind has generated.
Think about the way you tend to describe feelings:
“I feel it in the pit of my stomach”
“I’ve got a lump in my throat”
“My heart feels fizzy like I could fly”
As you can see, we associate our emotions with their physical manifestations.
How misinterpreting and burying our feelings affects us
Emotion is pure motivation, a pressure to act. When we suppress our feelings, we’re suppressing this pressure inside of us…
Emotional resonance is a phenomenon where memories and emotions from the past are activated when a current event resonates with them. We over-react as we are reacting not only to the event in the “now” but every event in our past and imagined future with a similar vibrational energy or resonance.
We constantly experience two sources of stress: internal and external. Internal stress is all the old emotions from the past and imagined future. You carry all of your experiences and emotions with you, in your nervous system and subconscious mind. This includes unresolved feelings of anger, grief, fear, and inadequacy. External stress is the demands life puts on us now. Internal and external stress are always combining to create the level of stress we’re experiencing at any moment.
When we carry the burden of unresolved and buried feelings, we create chronic stress. Chronic stress reduces our ability to handle even minimal stress in the “now”, unhappiness, over-reaction, and can lead to serious health problems.
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